Once Upon a Time, I Really Liked a Guy

Once upon a time, I really liked a guy. 

He was really sweet and adorable, treated me so well, and we had a great time together. Whether we went out or stayed in, we always enjoyed each other’s company. He supported what I did, was understanding of the long hours I spent at work and doing grad school, and I supported his life’s work as well.

One day, I was discussing this wonderful man with someone very near and dear to me. This person, who cared about me very much, said the most shocking words to me about this new-found person in my life. “I don’t think he’s as into you as you are into him.” I felt immediate anger, frustration, and had a few choice words for this dear person in my head. But I decided to be the more mature version of myself and kept those things to myself. Instead I asked, “How so?” She pointed out a few things that, although made me more angry, opened my eyes to the reality of the situation.

Reluctantly facing reality. 

In the quiet of my home later that evening, I started really thinking. I especially reflected on my past choices of men, and really gave some thought to my relationship with this really sweet guy. The more I reflected on the time we had spent together, the more I realized that I really was the one doing most of the chasing. I realized things weren’t as nice as I had made them out to be; that he was nice enough, but we didn’t even share the same values of beliefs. I was shocked! I was so caught up with the sweetness of having someone in my life, that I hadn’t realized that it really wasn’t that sweet of a relationship after all. It took someone else looking from the outside in to help me realize what I had been missing all along.

I was so upset. I really didn’t want to let him go. I enjoyed the time we spent together. Worse yet, what if I broke it off with him, and then no one else came along? What if I ended up by myself for the rest of my life? Wouldn’t it be better to be with someone who was “sort of” into me rather than being alone?

Making way for great things!

The day came when I called the whole thing off. It hurt. I mean it really hurt. Especially because there wasn’t anything really wrong. It just wasn’t completely right. I missed him. A lot. I can’t tell you how many times I picked up the phone to call or text him and tell him I wanted him back in my life. But for once I decided to listen to someone else’s advice, to see what they saw, and do what would probably be best for me. Good thing I did, because a month later I met my wonderful, amazing, so hot husband who makes my life more complete than I could have ever imagined!

See, sometimes we cling to what we know because it seems so uncomfortable to step out and do something different. Sometimes we cannot imagine going through the pain of walking away from something that seems “ok” or “pretty good,” or maybe “not so good,” just to have the chance at something better. But sometimes you have to let go of things you think are “pretty good” to make way for the really great things just waiting for you around the corner. Whether it is a toxic relationship, a subpar job, a friendship that sucks the life out of you . . . there comes a point where you have to take inventory of your life and realize that you only go around once.

Mind you, I’m not telling you to jump ship, quit your job, or eliminate your so-called friends without giving things a lot of thought and careful planning. Maybe with a few changes, the really great thing in your life can come from something that is already there! But as you take inventory of your life, ask yourself, what are the things in your life that are just “ok” or “not great” that could stand to be better? Are you living the great life you wanted to live? Or are you settling for what seems comfortable or just ok? Would it be worth the pain of eliminating something mediocre from your life to pave the way for something great? What fears are holding you back? Maybe it’s time to face whatever it is head on, make some changes, and start living the great life you deserve. Maybe its time to step aside from the things that are “just ok” to make room for the really great things that are to come!

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